How To Really Get A Guy

While we here at Metro were picking up toilet paper at Sam’s Club, we asked all the girls there what they did to get guys. Here’s what they said.

"I generally let it be known that I put out."

"I offer blow jobs at reduced rates."

"I cast a spell on the guy in question."

"See, I only go for the geeky guys, so if I wear a tight video game shirt and they come running. You know, girls shock them as it is, and if they see one that likes video games, particularly one with big tits, they are in heaven. I am their perfect goddess."

"I wear my hair up."

"I wear my hair down."

"I’ve found that short skirts work. Especially with stiletto heels."

"Ruby red lipstick. Guys aren’t drooling over Gwen Stefani for her peroxide hair."

"I dye out my roots."

"I don’t talk to guys, really, but when I’m in a chat room, I like to tell them at I’m a D-cup blonde in a bikini."

"I flirt a lot, especially with guys who look desperate."

"I wear low-cut shirts and pretend I’m drunk."

So, in conclusion, the only way to get guys is to be yourself.