How To Do Your ’Do

We were at Metro have gone to the top two hair experts in the T-town area in order to fully tell you what to do with your hair. If you are looking for a definitive answer, this isn’t the place. Have you ever really gotten one from a girly magazine?

First we have Alexis, hair extraordinaire. She says, "The ultimate way to a guy’s heart is through your neck. Forget tits and ass, baby, just go for baby got neck. Guys in Japan idealize it. Think about it - in America and Europe, family members and friends kiss your face all the time, but your neck is sacred territory, just for your boy-toy. Think about hickeys, the ancient rite of claiming the neck. I recommend the hair up, in a ponytail, a dancer’s bun, a loose bun, a braid, pigtails, or a French twist."

Andrea, Alexis’ long-lost twin sister, has another take on the situation. "Look at any Playboy, Maxim, or Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition, and take a good long look. Besides the all-important tits-n-ass, all the girls’ hair is down, generally wet-looking. Men like to yank at it during sex. I’d like to recommend the following hairstyle… hair down."

We decided that the only way to really settle this debate was to arrange for them to meet each other and thrash it out.

After all the crying, hugging, and exchanging of emails, the twins got the meat-and-bones of the situation: How should our girls be doing their hair?

Alexis pushed her idealistic, multifaceted argument while Andrea waved around a Playboy.

Things got ugly from there.

Our only advice is to ask your boyfriend what he wants, or, if you don’t have one (we completely understand, everyone has their off-days) just wear it down. (Unless, of course you live in Japan, in which case, you will be an old maid by doing so.)