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Majority of men prefer curvy Victoria’s Secret models to scrawny bitches in Vogue. The rest prefer "Big Is Beautiful" catalogue.

Alternative Music Now a Joke. "I’m into it all, especially punk," says young teenybopper, "like Blink 182," marks the beginning of the end.

Harvard Students are going to take over your world. They blow their noses in your general direction.

Shakira Has Roots. The eighties are over, honey.

Weather Getting Warmer. Skin bared.

Wow, Are We As A Race Ugly. Turns out 95% of us were meant for the heavily-clad fashions of winter.

Birkenstocks Cost Too Much. Hippies torn between weed and name-brand sandals.

"Sex Overrated" says teenager who never gets any. "Sour Grapes" say his friends.