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Chapter Ten

Caroline was sitting on her bed, playing with her stuffed animals. Fluffy and Stupidity were her two favorites, and they were married. It was a fascinating soap opera.

"Honey, I am not cheating on you! I love you! You love me... don’t you?"

"Oh, yes, honey, I did. But I don’t know any more... You are never truthful to me and that new secretary is... making me jealous."

"But I would never do that. I love you. You are the only one in my life."

"I don’t know if I love you any more. Maybe I just need some time away from you. I’m moving out."

"Honey, please, no! It would break my heart!"

"You never cared for my fashion sense! You always said the Zap was uncool! I am going to cry!"

"It would break my heart if you left! I know you’re too good for me. Maybe you could... stay around for a little longer. Please, honey."

"I ... can’t. You never liked my shoes, either."

Radu and Elmira were watching this. At the mention of shoes, and the tone of Care’s voice when she said it, he started snickering.

"You’re a truly sad person, Caroline," he said, quickly adding, "but no offense."

Care nodded. "You’re a nice person, jerk."

"What’s your fascination with the little animals made of cotton?"

"They’re people, too, and they don’t get enough respect."

"But... they’re made of cotton."

"You’re a creep. It would be really cool if they were alive! They’d think you were weird because you’re made of stupid stuff like... like... carbon, for gosh’s sakes!"

Radu nodded. "I’m organic."

"They aren’t, and they’re so superior that they don’t care. They’d beat you up if they were actually alive."

It was two weeks later and Elmira was hanging out at Vena’s house. Leena was there, too, having IM conversations with other people on ANOL (Andromeda On Line). "Look," Leena said as Elmira was giving Vena one of those magazine quizzes, "Aims is on."

"Really? Who else?" Vena asked, looking up.

"I guess I wouldn’t know any of these people," Elmira said softly.

"Some of them hang out at the Stardust Café, I think, so you might know them by sight," Leena commented. "Here’s who’s on: Candy Cane, Aims, Lydia Kiss, Murky Jacuzzi, and Jessica Addition. They’re all talking to me! This is fun! I wish I had ANOL!... Wait, first I’d have to have a computer, wouldn’t I?"

"You don’t have a computer?" Elmira asked, shocked.

"Well, yeah, I do, but it doesn’t have anything interesting on it except for a few little games and stuff for doing homework. No Space Net," she replied.

"Or chat rooms," she added evilly after a second thought.

Vena rolled her eyes at Elmira and they laughed. "But you’ve got a communicator."

"It’s the same as having a phone. Except you can see the person. You can’t see or talk to about 10 people at once or something like I’ve got going now. Oh, geez, Candy is acting hyper, Aims isn’t replying, and Jessica is happy."

"She’s a truly joyful person. When isn’t she happy?" Vena said, continuing to worry about the quiz.

They both thought about it. They couldn’t think about a time when Jessica wasn’t a cheerful type of person.

Then Leena got a very violent IM. It was from "Jeopardy Obsessed B." It read:

Leena rolled her eyes. "Who’s Jeopardy Obsessed B? One of your friends, Vena?"

"No, I’ve never heard of her, or him. Check out the profile."

"Wait a minute.... (momentary pause) there is none."

Elmira, who was daydreaming, suddenly said, "Jeopardy Obsessed B? That’s probably my mother! She’s obsessed with Jeopardy and her first name sounds like the letter B!"

Leena jumped up. "Call her on your cell phone!"

"Cool," Vena commented. "I want a cell phone."

"My father got it for me," Elmira muttered as she dialed in the number of her mother’s house.

"He’s a famous Spung Warlord," Leena said for the confused Vena.

"Mom," Elmira said when her mother picked it up, "are you okay?"

"Yes, dear, but... those stuffed animals! They’ve formed a strike!"

"Against what? They don’t get paid."

"Against being there, sitting still. Oh, God, they heard what I said to them when I was drunk! I’ve got to go! They’re going to blackmail me!"

There was a click. Elmira stared at the phone. "This is really bad," she whispered, putting it back into her little purse.

"Everything is to YOU. You are the Predictor of Impending Doom," Leena said, typing yet something else onto the computer. "Oh, and Vena -- Murky signed off."

She turned around a minute later, about to ask why they weren’t talking any more. They were gone.

"Oh, well, maybe I’ll talk to them later. Back to my discussion with Aims about whether Tie should just ask Jane out."

Caroline was laughing and flirting with Kroz. They were hanging out in his room, playing video games. Suddenly, a loud sound came from behind them. Kroz paused the game so they could look. And then, for the second time in this book, Kroz began to wonder if he was on drugs but just didn’t know it.

All of the stuffed animals were walking up to them. And laughing.

"Okay, fine," Caroline said, frowning. "You can do that later. But I’m trying to kick Kroz’s butt in this game and I’d prefer if the laughing stopped. Please, so I can concentrate."

"Sure, but as long as we can watch," one of the evil stuffed animals said after discussing quietly with his fellow members what to do.

They sat on Kroz’s and Caroline’s laps and legs and on the floor beside them. Then, without warning, they jumped up and started attacking them.

Through his glass ball, Merlin the Wicked Wizard (catchy name!) snickered. //This is a lot of fun// he thought.

Candy Cane was sitting in her room, blasting her favorite CDM, and having IM conversations on ANOL with mostly Aims by also Lydia Kiss. She was really hyper. She really loved her CDM.

She was sort of sitting in her seat and halfway dancing in that way that some do when they’re sitting and typing in some replies when she heard some squeaking.

She turned down the CDM and realized the squeaking was yelling.

And she couldn’t possibly tell where it was coming from. Then she looked down. On the floor were her Barbie dolls.

"We’re really, really sick of you brushing our hair over and over again! And these shoes HURT even though our feet were made for them! Our outfits don’t fit properly and you can’t change clothes if your life depended on it! Who do you think you are? Reply!" the Barbie dolls shouted in unison.

Candy rolled her eyes. //I’ve been spending too much time in the ANOL chat rooms// she thought crossly.

She typed in to Aims:

Bea kicked Stupidity and Fluffy, the leaders, away from her. "Get out of my face! I never did anything to you!"

Fluffy yelled, "You, you idiot! You were always telling us your troubles when you got drunk! Yes, that only happened once or twice a year, but still, we didn’t need to know about your... your...."

"You don’t need to say it, I know what you mean!" Bea hissed, slightly blushing.

The stuffed animals jumped onto her, pushing onto her with their horrible cotton-filled paws. "You’re going down, problem woman," Fluffy said.

"Is that the worst insult you can come up with?" Bea asked.

"We’re stuffed animals! We’re not programmed to say things other than ‘I love you’ and ‘Do you want to be my special friend’ and ‘Let’s go to the mall!’ "

Bea nodded, feeling their pain - and hers - from being smushed on the floor with about 30 stuffed animals jumping up and down on her.

Aims was sitting in her room, with a Whiny the Pope video in the background. (Whiny was not actually a Pope, or The Pope, for that matter; he was actually a fluffy orange bear who wanted to be one.)

She was, once again, on ANOL, typing to mostly Candy. She was being bombarded with Leena’s stupid IMs about Elmira and Bea, Elmira’s mother, Emailing her about stuffed animals attacking the house.

Then she got another weird letter. It was from Candy. It talked about angry Barbie dolls.

//She’s been spending too much time in chat rooms// Aims thought sympathetically. //Either that or she’s been spending too much time talking with Leena and that Elmira person who’s not allowed on school grounds. Talking Barbie dolls, indeed.// She snickered and was about to delete the IM when she decided to use it for future laughs.

She glanced at her list of people who were on. //Look, Coal’s on! I’ve got to go and talk to her!// she thought excitedly. Coal Car-Knee was one of her best friends. She forgot about Candy and went to IM Coal.

Lydia Kiss was hanging out on the Net, talking to her friends and wondering how to make a web page. Coal signed on and she began to IM her, too. She was not bored. She turned around to look at her giant stuffed animal collection. She had quite a few Whiny the Pope stuffed animals, as well as others from birthdays and any other days. They were sitting still. //I wonder why I felt the urge to check out my stuffed animals// she thought.

She gazed at her screen to see a message from Candy Cane. She read it. It said:

Lydia snickered. //She’s a totally crazy woman// she thought. //But at least she’s not boring.//

Then she turned around to see Whiny the Pope staring intently at her from on her bed causing her to frown and inquire to herself, //Was he on the bed before?//

The bear began walking towards her, grinning. "I am your friend... NOT! I hate pretending to pretend that I am the Pope. I am Whiny and I intend to whine your heart out, girlfriend!"

Lydia sent an IM back to Candy.

Candy got the IM from Lydia. She turned to her Barbie dolls. "You guys really need to shush, because.... Uh..... I need to write a letter to the girl power society, okay?"

The Barbie dolls shut up, for once in their little plastic lives.

Then they figured that it was worthless because Candy was not clicking on the icon for Email.

"Hey! You should stop playing with our hair! How would you feel if we played with your hair?" one shouted.

That was when the dolls attacked Candy. They jumped all over her, knocking her to the floor. It was truly surprising how much yarn Candy had for art projects. And it was also surprising how good yarn was for tying someone up.

Merlin was laughing hysterically. "I’ve never had so much fun in my life! Who should I spread it to this time? Who else is on the... line? Who else on ANOL can I bug?"

Coal was typing some random things into the computer. She was discussing the meaning of candy and flashlights on the Net when she felt something big on her shoulder.

She looked up. On her shoulder was her giant puppet, Jeffery. "You’re going down, brat. I am sick and tired of you making me dance. Yes, I am a puppet, and yes, I can dance, but I’m getting really annoyed with your fascination with me dancing to the annoying crap that you call music."

He slammed his fist down on her head, causing her to collapse.

Merlin was still snickering loudly. "This totally kicks!" he yelled. "I’ve never had this much fun before!" He turned to his communicator. "Hey, Herb!"

His little brother smiled at him from a distance. "I wish I could be like you."

"I know," was the smug reply.

"I’m trying to follow in your footsteps. I already canceled that show, Sea Cases. Anything else?"

"Nah. Want to come and see all of the havoc that I’m causing between these friends? All of their toys are coming to life!"

Herb nodded. "Beam me up, Merlin."

Bea was relieved when Elmira and Vena arrived to get the stuffed animals off of her. "Thank you, girls," she whispered as the toys were kicked off of her by Vena, who had been taking self-defense karate for six years.

"We have to get you out of here," Elmira said, picking her reasonably helpless mother up.

"Okay, but where?" Bea asked.

"My house!" Vena replied, smiling. All of the stuffed animals went onto the front yard to play, causing some of the neighbors to come and check it out.

When they got there, Leena was still typing in IMs. She was addicted. And she was hanging out in a chat room.

//This is really sad// Vena said. //Leena appears to be growing mold on her eyelids. Too much ANOL.//

Merlin and Herb were watching through the magical crystal ball. Leena was addicted to the Internet, Bea was traumatized, and all of Leena and Vena’s friends were being hurt and abused by their little "friends." Fun!

"I wonder what made this all start," Elmira said, sitting down on Vena’s bed.

"Gee, me too!" Herb yelled.

"It was actually your twin sister’s idea," Merlin said to Elmira, who couldn’t actually hear her. "I like your twin sister. She’s a great inspiration."

"My sister!" Elmira suddenly shouted. "She was talking about it! When we were making fun of her stuffed animals!"

Herb and Merlin nodded. "Go on, you’re intriguing me," Merlin muttered to her. "Tell us all about destiny or something."

"It must have been a chain reaction! But there must’ve been something else involved. What do you think?"

Vena shrugged. "You’ve already gone over my head. I’m an A student, but I’m not quick with strange ideas like that. What is eternity? That’s been bugging me for such a long time."

Bea gasped and poked Vena. "One thing at a time, child."

Out of nowhere, Elmira had a flash of .... psychic power. She saw two men, both really ugly, watching them through a crystal ball. One looked like a magician, wearing a big pointy hat with stars on it. A dunce cap?

"They’re... watching us."

Leena nodded. "Soon, Vena, your Barbie dolls are going to come to life. You should hear some of the stuff my friends are telling me about."

"I know where they are! And I think I know how to stop them! I know how to stop all of this!"

Bea sighed. "And how do we do that?"

"We have to go to Broadway Street. They’re in ... some kind of studios. We have to do something!"

They went into downtown Center City. There, right on Broadway Street, was a giant, orange building. They went in the front door.

"Do you think we should run away, Merlin?"

"Nah, they’re stupid harmless kids. They can’t take over the President of the Nick Empire or the most famous wizard of all time."

"Okay, we’ll just hang out and talk to them, right?"

"Yes, that’s what we’ll do. Just sit here and twiddle our thumbs."

The doorway crashed open. "You are... BUSTED! Yea!" Leena yelled, throwing a karate kick in front of her. "We are.... THE PEOPLE! You are... THE DORKS! Girl Power!"

Herb grinned. "Okay. Whatever you want."

"Take the curse off of Center City right now!" Bea yelled.

"Or suffer the consequences!" Vena added.

"What consequences?" Herb asked fearfully, glancing at Merlin.

"We’ll send you back to your time, back with King Arthur! And you, Herb, you’re going back, too, to be, once again, King Arthur’s mindless servant! We’ll take back your time machine, and you’ll never ever be able to go forward in time again to work on your Nick Empire in 1998! You’re going down!" Elmira said, sounding incredibly sure of what she was saying.

"Can she do that?" Herb whispered to Merlin, who smacked him in the jaw.

"Shut up, dork!" Merlin snapped.

Elmira reached over. "My father had an extra time transporter," she stated. She pressed the button and steadily pointed the laser beam at them. They disappeared. Elmira pressed another button and the office’s desk, which the two had been seated behind, blew up. "They have no way of getting back to this time," Elmira stated.

She disappeared for about ten minutes. Then she reappeared, holding her small virtual-pet type of device, the one she had started out with. "I destroyed all of the time machines. I think they’ll be staying in Medieval Times forever."

The end. Well, actually no. Coal was still lying unconscious, Candy was still tied up on the ground, and the stuffed animals were still in Bea’s front yard. But all of the stuffed animals were once again lifeless. The spell was broken. Okay, NOW the end, pretty much.