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Don’t get me wrong, folks. I am all for the dress code as a principle. I can see where the administration is coming from. If it weren’t for the dress code, we’d all be walking around in baggy blue jeans and “coed naked” t-shirts. We’d look like slobs, and of course, we have that wonderful reputation to upkeep. It’s part of the reason our parents are forking over a good sixteen thousand dollars plus additional expenses like formals, trips, books, and food. If we were to dress like slobs, we would certainly act like them, as Wyoming Seminary convoluted logic seemingly goes. As if we don’t slouch and grunt and burp and send nasty Emails to each other as it is. But I digress.
The dress code has gone too far this time. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think that our pants are not allowed to have tassels. Are there going to be people out there reinforcing this? The Tassel Patrol? The general purpose of a dress code is to keep people looking more or less respectable so they act less brutally human than they actually are. Also, it keeps them Prep School Photogenic. No one is looking at the bottoms of the backs of anyone else’s pants. I looked at the handbook, snickered, and went through my pants with a pair of scissors, trimming off the tassels. Someone explain to me the purpose of this new rule.
Other things that are not permitted are a) colored jeans, b) short skirts, c) capris, and d) tank tops. I’ve seen ALL of these things, IN ABUNDANCE, since I’ve gotten back. What’s the point of having a dress code if you’re not even going to enforce it?
Dr. H. Jeremy has been quoted as having something along the lines of, “We are not slaves to the J. Crew catalogue.” But really, yeah, we are. I think that they should just stand up on stage and hypnotize us into shopping at the same store. Better yet, let’s all just have a uniform: GAP kakhis and a tucked in, collared white shirt. If you’re cold, you can put on a grey sweater, but only if you have the white collared shirt under it. No jewlery. And if you’re hair is brown or black, you’re just going to have to dye it blonde. Don’t even get me started on hair highlighting. This is another day. If Anselmi can write a fashion article, then I can write a counter-fashion article. Expect that in a future issue. But I digress (again).
I’m all for looking respectable, but there’s a point where all of these restrictions are just going to make people dress even worse than they normally do. At least the baggy jeans and “coed naked” t-shirts covered peoples’ bodies. This “two inches above the knee” rule isn’t being enforced in the least. Then girls unbutton their shirts really low, so essentially we’re seeing all the legs and some breast. This can’t be what the administration intends. How about the new rule “keep your ass covered”? How about “make it past your mother in the morning in the clothing you’re actually going to wear that day”?
The dress code is a complete joke. I can’t wait to see what they decide to do for next year. It’ll probably be even worse. So folks, next time you’re thinking about disobeying the dress code, or obeying it for that matter, please look in the mirror before you leave the house. All of these rules exist but are generally forgetting the fact that the point of the dress code was “decency.” I could go on to point out that clothes don’t make the person, but that would break the hearts of just about everyone here. Just kidding.
This is NOT the version that is going to make it to the newspaper. Irina's going to have to edit out the derogitory parts. Which is essentially the whole thing. I just needed to get this out.