fingernails

because when we were kids
you had smooth fingernails
mine were bumpy
lines ridges from white half moon tips to delicate cuticles
but your nails reflected light
in planes
unbroken
simple

i filed my nails
filed them flat
filed the ridges off the top
until they turned gray
and scratchy
then painted over them

flat nails like yours
i filed them flat
so when our hands touched
i would not feel ashamed

i filed them flat
so i would not feel like a heathen

i filed the tops of my nails smooth
so i wouldn't feel made funny
rough
unrefined

and so many years later
bumpy nails i have
just like everyone else

your nails were special
i filed mine
and you weren't alone


poetry