I promise I won't put my boring essays up here or anything.

CLONING NOW LEGAL AT WYOMING SEMINARY A little editorial rant for the Opinator, the school newspaper. This is the limited-edition unedited version. We all know the finished draft will look nothing like this.

Exclusive: the MCBL's EVIL PLAN ... Generated from a hysterical site to which I have linked at the bottom. Yes, this is how I plan to TAKE OVER THE WORLD. When something happens to the Sydney Opera House... I suppose I must've been doing it from my lair in Underground Disney. Read on.

Hurrah for Noxin: Fasion at its peak Another little editorial rant for the Opinator. Most of my digressions (a great deal highlighted in another color) will be omitted.Again, the article, the way I intended it.

Perspectives Watch the downfall of another human being, through neither my voice nor hers, just what people tell me. No names are released.

How I Have Come To Frown Upon Manatees Just a little something amusing I did primarily for Creative Writing Club. This isn't about anyone. Swear on it. ;)

The Time The Coven Hid Under The Table Self-explanatory.

College: Impossible None of us has a prayer.

New York College Visits Copied from my Open Diary. Straight from the heart. (Excerpt: "Columbia: What is this crap?") Read on.

Stage Crew: Strange Traditions and Stranger People A journalism assignment.

On Exes I wish I were kidding

Wal-Mart Censorship must end now; an opinion piece for journalism

And... most importantly...

Metropolitan Magazine All the world's truth is said in jest.